Two Broke Girls: 第二季经典毒舌台词盘点 第一集：The hidden stash
S: No, you're never gonna win, Max.
M: You know, when I was born, the doctors tried to pry my dead twin sister from my hands, but I never let go. She was my first doll.
译文：不，你永远都不可能赢的Max。我出生的时候医生还想把我死去的双胞胎妹妹从我手里撬出来。但我就是不撒手她是我的第一个洋娃娃。 C: I use the box our soap comes in as a wallet.
译文：我都穷到拿肥皂盒当钱包了。
第二集：And the Pearl Necklace
S: You know, every time I come here, I'm surprised you're still open.
M: There is no luck. There is only work
译文：运气是不存在的.工作才是最真实的
M: Might as well face it. You and I are on our own.
译文：还是面对现实吧，我们要靠自己
M: Actually the only time my mother bought milk was when my face was on the side of the carton.
译文：事实上我妈唯一次买牛奶是因为我把店里的牛奶偷喝光了
C: We'll get there, Max. Because you and I have something Martha Stewart and machines don't.
M: Unpaid bills? C: No, each other.
译文：我们会成功的Max，因为我们身上有Martha Stewart和蛋糕机都没有的特质。没付清的账单?不，我们有彼此。
第三集：And the Hold-Up
M: Han, you can't let your mommy keep bullying you. Stand up to her. You're a 53-year-old man.
H: Max, I am 29.
译文：Han 你不能总让你老妈这么欺负你。要勇敢反抗，你都是个53岁的男人了。Max 我才29岁。
bully：欺小凌弱；stand up to：抵抗；
第四集：And The Cupcake War
S: Lady chatterbox says your business is in big trouble.
M: Please, everything seems big to Han.
译文：长舌妇说你们的生意遇到了烦。得了吧就Han的个头看什么都是大事
chatterbox：喋喋不休的人
C: Max, why don't you ever let yourself dream?
焙烧炉M: Because in my dreams, spiders are always eating my eyes.
译文：Max 你为什么就不愿意幻想一番呢？因为在我的梦里，总有蜘蛛在吃我的眼珠子
M: Crew necks are for squares and Mormons.
C: Oh, cute! Should we do mine?
M:I don't know. If you have no car, why open the garage?
王馨流产译文：圆领衫是给"飞机场"和摩门教徒穿的。太棒了! 给我也来一刀吧?我就不明白了，你胸无三两肉，露个毛啊?
crew neck：水手领
That's your brand. The muscle and the hustle. The doubled's and the ditz.
译文：这是你们的招牌。一个勤奋一个瞎忙活。波霸和无脑妹
hustle：赶紧；ditz：没头脑的人
第五集：And the Pre-Approved Credit Card
M: I can't believe you masking taped the shoe to your leg.
C: I know but these are Christian Louboutins aneven all busted up like this they still have the classic red bottoms.
M: You know what else has red bottoms? baboons.
译文：难以置信你居然用胶带包鞋子。我知道但这鞋子可是Louboutin啊(名牌鞋以红鞋底著称)。虽然它已经被整得面目全非但这经典的红鞋底仍在。你知道还有什么是"红底"的吗？猴子屁股。 baboon：狒狒
第六集：And the Candy Manwich
C: This guy has a brand-new apple. I've been eating the same apple for a week.
德国哈芬译文：这厮还有台新苹果，而我却一周都在吃同一个苹果
M: If I learned anything as a child, It's when a stranger offers you candy, You say yes.
译文：要是小时候我真学到过什么，那就是陌生人说要给你糖，你一定要接受
第七集：And The Three Boys With Wood
A: hello, sir, I’m here to pick up your daughter.
M: And what exactly are your intentions?
A: I don't know. Maybe take her on a romantic hayride, knock her out with chloroform, and sell her kidney for a new ipad.
译文：你好先生，我是来接你女儿的。那你的目的是什么呢?不知道啊，可能带她去坐一次浪漫的干草车，用氯仿把她捂晕，然后卖了她的肾去买个新iPad。knock sb out：击倒，使精疲力竭
第八集：And the Egg Special
H: Okay, everyone, time to divvy up. What's in the lost and found box?
风尚标
M: If my dignity's in there, Tell it I said, "what up?"
译文：让我们看看失物招领箱都有些啥。要是我的尊严在里面替我跟它打个招呼。divvy up：分摊；dignity：尊严
第九集：And the new boss
H: Max, look at my face. I'm very upset.
M: Oh. Is that what that means? I just assumed you were constipated.
译文：Max看着我，我现在很愤怒。肿么了，你这是啥表情? 我还以为是你便秘呢。塞内加尔
constipate：便秘，呆滞
S: I mean, this place is so unappealing, even I don't look good here.
译文：这地方简直毫无吸引力，连我也跟着变丑了。
第十集：And the Big Opening
M: That's what success is for, to say "suck it" to people who dumped you.
译文：成功就是这个功能，对那些甩了你的人说"吧"
第十一集：And the silent partner
A: I'm nervous. I came here to tell Caroline something kind of big.
M: What? You have a secret family on Long Island?-- NO
M: You have Hep-C? "D"? One of the new heps?-- NO
A: I don't have any of the heps. Wow. Now, telling her I'm in love with her is just going to sound boring.
译文：A：我很紧张。我有点重要的事情要告诉Caroline。M：什么？你在长岛有另一个家庭?A：不是。M：你有肝炎? 丙肝? 丁肝? 新型肝炎? A：不是，我没得肝炎。哇，比起来的话告诉她我爱她，反倒不算什么了。
hepatic：肝的
M: If it didn't happen to Kate Hudson in some stupid romantic comedy, then it won't work for Caroline.
A: Sorry, what? I left and went into another theater in my mind while you were talking.
译文：M：如果不是Kate Hudson在傻傻的爱情电影里有多的桥段的话，那基本对Caroline是没用的。A：抱歉，什么? 你刚说话的时候我的魂去看了场电影。
M: I know, it's so creepy, but she likes it. Really, if you could arrange for it to rain, or run after her to the airport in the rain, but somehow end up on top of the Empire State building on Valentine's Day, that'd be best.
译文：M：我知道很诡异但是她就是喜欢。真的，如果你能安排一场大雨，或是在雨中的机场追逐飞机上的她，但不知怎么搞的最后到了帝国大厦楼顶，又正好是情人节的话，那就最好了。
creepy：毛骨悚然的
第十二集：And the High Holiday
C: Let's just send out positive energy, and the universe will provide.
译文：C：我们只要散发正能量，宇宙会证明给我们看的。
H: I'm kind of trying to watch my waist.
M: Well, you're closer to it than most people.
译文：H：我只是来检查一下自己的腰。M：比起别人，你的头离自己的腰近多
了。
waist：腰
M: You've heard "when god closes a door, he opens a window"? He's running from his landlord.
译文：M：你有听过"上帝关了一扇门，就会开启一扇窗"吗? 说的就是他老人家在躲房东。
第十三集：And The Bear Truth
E: Sophie, the way you look tonight, we are all winners.
译文：E：Sophie 你今天看起来这么动人，我们就已经赚到了。
E: I figured you girls could use a vacation. You girls been working harder than my liver on payday.
译文：E：我想你们应该好好放个假，你们工作得太辛苦了。辛苦过发薪日时我的肝脏(指发薪日大酗酒)。
M: I've always wanted to be abducted. And my guidance counselor said I had no goals.
译文：M：我一直想被，但我的顾问咨询说没有我的理由。
abduct：
C: How come your towel's staying up So much better than mine?-- M: I can think of two reasons.
译文：C：你的浴巾怎么就不掉呢?肿么比我的稳啊? M：我想到两个原因。
It's our man-iversary.
译文：今天可是我们的基念日啊！顾伊劼
第十四集：And Too Little Sleep
C: Max, you're taking your pants off in public!
M: Oh, my God! I'm so tired, I forgot where I was! They're halfway down. What do I do? I'm too tired to make the call.
译文：C：Max，公众场合啊！怎么把裤子给脱了！M：哦，天呐!！我太累了，忘记自己在哪了！脱了一半，是继续脱还是提起来呢？我累到不能作出这一决定。
H: Max, I need you to explain something to me 'cause I can't figure it out.
M: That's hard to believe, since you're 90% head.
译文：H：Max 你来给我解释解释，有件事我怎么都想不通。M：难以置信，你
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