・第十一届“韩素音青年翻译奖”・ 参考译文(汉译英部分)
象王董事长儿子Preda w n Peiping
Translated by Zhang Peiji
It was getting colder with each passing day.The lake in Beihai Park was covered with a thick layer of ice.The roadside trees had been stripped of their foliage ,leaving their bare branches and twigs shivering in the biting wind.
Peiping had been besieged by the powerful P LA forces.The city gates were shut tight and supplies of grain ,vegetables ,fish and meat were cut off.We had to make do with the pickled turnips we had laid in long beforehand and s ometimes ate home 2grown s oybean sprouts instead.
N ow and then the P LA artillery was heard booming while entrenched inside the city were an enorm ous number of K uomintang troops.Though bottled up like turtles in a jar ,they could neverthe 2less cause a tremendous loss of life and property to the local inhabitants should they put up a last 2ditch resistance.T o surrender or not to surrender -that was the question awaiting prom pt s olution by G eneral Fu Zuoyi ,then in command of the K MT troops.Faced with the dilemma ,the G eneral was obliged to call in s ome local scholars and celebrities for consul 2tation.
气辅成型
They met in Zhongnanhai amidst an extremely s olemn and tense atm osphere.G eneral Fu made a brief opening address ,in which he expressed his willingness to listen with an open mind to all opin 2ions.Thereupon ,all was quiet except for the tick 2tock of the clock on the wall.F or a long while ,the whole gathering kept silent and looked questioningly from one to another with eyes full of misgivings.They were afraid they could get themselves into great trouble by speaking in fav our of the peaceful libera 2tion of Peiping.
At long last ,however ,silence was broken when many began to speak up one after another to urge the G eneral to give first priority to protecting the local people and the cultural relics of the onetime capital ,and therefore do everything he could to en 2sure a peaceful s olution as s oon as possible.
The G eneral ,who had been listening with pa 2tience and attention ,finally rose to his feet to thank everybody for speaking their minds plainly.
A fter the meeting ,people lost no time in spreading the g ood news ,feeling m ore and m ore hopeful of the peaceful liberation of Peiping and the final speedy conclusion of the long dark night.
讲 评
电解质饮料
英译似无困难，但要真正做到忠实通顺、简洁晓畅，也非易事。现归纳这次译卷，作如下简要评析:
(一)文章标题“黎明前的北平”可译为Predawn Peiping 、Peiping Before Dawn 、Peiping Be 2fore Daybreak 等等。如译为Peiping on the Eve of Liberation ，并无不可，但缺少原文中的比喻。 “北平”应译为Peiping ，不宜采用拼音Beip 2ing 。北京1928年改称“北平”,1949年解放后复称“北京”。Peiping 为外国人所熟悉，约定俗成，今凡指解放前国民党统治时期的北京都用此旧译名。同类的例子很多，包括地名、人名等等。如今天仍用旧译名H ong K ong (或H ongkong )、Macao 、K owloon 分别指香港、澳门、九龙；仍用C onfucius 、Sun Y at 2sen 、S oong Ching Ling 、Chiang K ai 2shek 、Hu Shih 分别指孔子、孙中山、宋庆龄、蒋介石、胡适。文章中有“国民党”一词，英译时也应采用国际通用的旧译名K uomintang (K MT )，不用拼音G uomindang 。
(二)“天气一天比一天寒冷”可译为It was getting colder with each passing day ，其中with each passing day 为习惯用语，作“日益”解。此句也可译为The days were growing colder and colder 或The weather was getting colder and colder each day
4
5《中国翻译》1999年第6期C hi nes e T r anslato rs Jou r nal
或It was getting colder and colder。有的卷子用was代替was getting(或growing)，未能表达“逐渐变化”之意。
(三)“湖上已结了厚厚的冰层”可译为the lake was covered with a thick layer of ice、the lake was deeply frozen over、the lake had iced over com2 pletely等等。有的卷子在deeply frozen over后面加短语with a thick layer of ice，属画蛇添足，因deeply frozen over已充分表达了这短语的意思。 (四)“北平已被强大的人民解放军包围，城门紧闭，粮食、蔬菜、鱼肉都运不进来”可译为Peiping had been besieged by the mighty People’s Liberation Army.The city gates were shut tight, cutting off the supply of grain,vegetables,fish and meat。其中besieged可改用surrounded或encir2 cled;tight可改用tightly;mighty可改用powerful。有的人把“粮食”译为food，似欠确切，因food泛指一切食物(包括蔬菜、鱼肉)，而文中“粮食”指“米面”等谷物，应译为grain。
(五)“我们吃着早已准备的酱萝卜，有时也用黄豆泡豆芽”可译为We had to make do with the pickled turnips we had laid in long beforehand and s ometimes ate home2grown s oybean sprouts in2 stead，其中成语to make do with(作“凑合着吃”解)比to eat更为达意。“准备”的含意应为“贮备”，故不译to prepare，而用成语to lay in。“酱萝卜”也是腌菜，此处译为pickled turnips即可，不必过细交代是用“酱油”腌制而成。“用黄豆泡豆芽”译为home-grown(或home-made)s oy2 bean sprouts即可，如过细地译为bean sprounts produced by steeping s oybeans in water，不仅口罗唆，且无必要。
(六)“数量庞大的国民党军队”可译为an enorm ous number of K MT troops，其中“庞大的”也可译为huge或large等。有的人把“数量”译为am ount或quantity，是明显的错误，因两者不能用来指人，况且am ount只指不可数的东西。
(七)“瓮中之鳖”英译时虽可借用英语同义习语like a rat in a hole，但不如直译like a turtle in a jar可取，因后者可保持原文的形象和民族特。
(八)“负隅顽抗”在文章中意同“背水一战”，可译为to struggle with their backs to the wall 或to resist desperately，但不如to put up a last2
ditch resistance有较明显的“作最后挣扎”之意。
(九)“何去何从?急待抉择。”两句虽是独立，在意思上却和下句“当时，统帅这批军队的傅作义将军……”紧紧相联，必须合译，否则这两句究竟指谁而言就欠明确。译文是:T o sur2 render or not to surrender-that was the question awaiting prom pt s olution by G eneral Fu Zuoyi,then in command of the K MT troops，其中“何去何从?”已按实际意思作灵活处理。
(十)“傅作义将军……邀请了北平的一些学者名流，征询意见”译为The G eneral…to call in s ome local scholars and celebrities for consulta2 tion，其中不用to invite，而用to call in表达“邀请”，因to invite通常用在较轻松愉快的事，如聚餐、跳舞、喜庆、宴会等等社交性或娱乐性的活动。
明报>长沙创一(十一)“大家只是用疑虑的眼光互相探询着”可译为The whole gathering…looked question2 ingly from one to another with eyes full of misgivings 或All…looked at each other inquiringly with appre2 hension in their eyes，其中misgivings和apprehen2 sion也可用doubt表达。不少人把“探询着”错译为inquisitively。其实inquisitively和inquiringly 完全不同，前者的意思是“爱打听”，后者才作“探询”解。
湖北科技学院学报(十二)“大家……担心如果发言要求和平解放北平，会带来很大的风险”可译为They were afraid they could get themselves into great trou2 ble by speaking in fav our of the peaceful liberation of Peiping，或They feared that to speak up for the peaceful liberation of Peiping w ould expose them2 selves to great pers onal danger，或They w orried that it w ould invite great trouble for them to speak out for the peaceful liberation of Peiping.
(十三)“会后，人们奔走相告，感到北平和平解放的希望越来越大，漫长的黑夜终于即将过去”可译为A fter the meeting,people lost no time in spreading the g ood news,feeling m ore and m ore hope2 ful of the peaceful liberation of Peiping and the final speedy conclusion of the long dark night，其中the g ood news是添加成分，原文虽无其词而有其意。又，最后的“漫长的黑夜终于即将过去”也是“感到”的宾语，不能单独另译一句。
(张培基译评)
55
《中国翻译》1999年第6期
C hi nes e T r anslato rs Jou r nal
豫公网安备41160202000603
站长QQ:729038198
关于我们
投诉建议