读后续写:南京一模 讲义-高三英语二轮复习

南京高三一模读后续写

主要情节是我帮一位生活落魄的女士买单。主题和情节方向单一，考察学生对原文线索和段首句信息的敏锐程度和解读能力。鉴于有部分学生存在跑题的情况，本篇给出详细解读；

后附精选同类型助人类话题的读后续写题目，可作进一步参考训练加以巩固此类情节构思方法。

题目

阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

As I stood in line waiting to cash out at a “pack your own” kind of store, where

customers pack their items by themselves, I stared at the customer in front of me

reading the magazines. She was young, but she already had a tired look to her, with

heads bent forwards --- as if life had beaten her down too many times.

Her face looked pale from extreme tiredness. Her winter coat was thin and

unbuttoned. The well-worn scarf around her throat probably did little to protect it

from the cold weather. Her hands, turning a few pages, were rough and red. When I

looked down at her boots, I could see a small piece of a clear plastic bag partially

visible through a hole in her left boot.

The items in her cart (购物车) included the cheapest cuts of meat and some things

like rice and potatoes. There were also lots of noodles. Day-old bread, inexpensive

soap, and tissues on sale --- well, almost. In a far corner sat a little toy and a pretty

dress that was 50 percent off.

She continued to look at the magazines as we waited, and more people lined up

behind us. She finally took one out and turned it over several times, trying to find a

price before finally turning to me.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” she began in a shy and nervous tone. “But can you tell me

how much this is? I forgot my glasses at home.”

“Of course,” I said with a smile.

When I finally found the small print and told her, she shook her head and put it back.

“They’ve become so expensive, haven’t they?" I said sympathetically.

“Next!” The cashier called in a gentle voice before she could answer, and she moved

forward to begin her transaction (交易).

注意：

1. 续写词数应为 150左右；

2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

When told the cost, the woman’s face paled.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I approached the cashier and whispered “Include her removed items in my bill,

please.”

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

ANALYSIS

情节构思详解

通常，情节构思依据两个段首句所给信息先推断出主要情节，然后再根据原文所给线索来充实细节。

常见段首句衔接方式：主语衔接、情绪反应、回应指令和新信息衔接。（详见《读后续写段首句衔接》讲义）

本篇续写第一段段首句衔接类型属于主语衔接，即要从主语the woman的视角来展开。

因为原文体现这位女士的经济状况是比较窘迫的，所以这时她得知费用后脸苍白的原因是钱不够支付购物车里所有商品，所以可以衔接女士窘迫尴尬的状态：Counting cash twice，the woman realized that she could not afford what she

preferred.

第二段段首句提到了“her removed items”，说明她要把一些商品退回，原文详细描写了她购物车中的商品——大部分是生活必需品，除了一个玩具和一条裙子，所以这时首选拿出的商品应该是玩具和裙子： She quickly checked her cart, and

reluctantly removed some of her items. As I noticed, what remained lying in her cart

were the poorly qualified soap, the obviously expired bread and the on sale tissues.

What else she desired much, the toy and the pretty dress included, were no longer

there.

期间可以写到收银员的行为来充实细节，因为原文提到收银员“in a gentle voice”，所以收银员这时是微笑耐心等待或帮助女士拿出商品。

第二段段首句衔接类型属于回应指令，所以要写the cashier的回应，即收银员听到后可能有点惊讶，但随即也明白了作者的计划。Noticing the cashier’s surprise, I

silenced the cashier with a smile and my next actions. The cashier also realized what

I intended to do.

接下来的难点在于作者是如何把买单的商品送给那位女士的。因为段首句提到作者对收银员的说话方式是“whisper”，所以应该是不想让女士知道，想保护她的自尊心。结合原文一个细节——女士没有带眼镜，视力不太好，所以可以趁其不备将东西混入女士在打包的物品里。或者可以制造“意外”，比如作者“不小心”把女士的购物袋撞翻了，然后趁着捡东西时把物品混进去。After my paying for the

items, the cashier helped slide them into the woman’s shopping bag without her

notice.

WRITING

范文

When told the cost, the woman’s face paled. Counting cash twice, the woman

realized that she could not afford what she preferred. She quickly checked her cart,

and reluctantly removed some of her items with the cashier’s patient help. As I

noticed, what remained lying in her cart were the poorly qualified soap, the

obviously expired bread and the on sale tissues. What else she desired much, the toy

and the pretty dress included, were no longer there. As she moved to pack her items,

I had an idea.

I approached the cashier and whispered “Include her removed items in my bill,

please.” Noticing the cashier’s surprise, I silenced the cashier with a smile and my

next actions. The cashier also realized what I intended to do. After my paying for the

items, the cashier helped slide them into the woman’s shopping bag without her

notice. Anonymous favor as it was, I am convinced it was worthwhile, for there was

definitely a little more joy and a little more warmth.

EXERCISE

拓展—同类型续写训练

It had been one of those days when nothing goes right. I was due at work at 8 o’clock,

but I was ten minutes late because I overslept. I went straight to my regular post —

the toy department. It was two days before Christmas and the department was a

mess. It caused me to think back to the time when I enjoyed Christmas. That was

two years ago, before I went work here.

Somehow since that time, Christmas didn’t mean much anymore, except more work

and whole day, I was cursed, yelled at and stepped on. And I still had

to finish my Christmas shopping that evening. I had just finished explaining to a man

why we didn’t sell firecrackers, when I felt a tug on my arm.

It was one of the two kids I had been keeping an eye on for a while — security told

us to watch kids for stealing. He and his little sister had been looking at the

“discount” counter, where we had all the cheapest toys. Before I even bent down to

listen to him, I checked around for his sister. I didn’t see her.

“Mister, do you think this would be a good present for my little sister?” he said in a

broken accent, holding up a bottle of soap bubble liquid. “I don’t want her to know

about it,” he whispered before I could even answer.

I just agreed with him. He stuck his hand in the pocket of his dirty jeans and pulled

out a fistful of change, asking if he had enough money to pay for it. “It looks like

you’ll have to try to find something else,” I said. “You need ten more cents.” I

doubted it was a trick, especially at Christmas. He looked sad and went back to find

something else.

I watched him from the corner of my eye for a while as he looked at other items, but

always came back to the soap bubbles. I left the area for a few minutes and when I

came back he was still there, trying to find a cheaper gift. Somehow, the kid struck

me as different from most the troublemakers we got in the toy department.

Paragraph 1:

I went over to him and asked if he had found anything yet.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2:

I followed him secretly to see what he really spent the money on.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

范文：

I went over to him and asked if he had found anything yet. He crouched in a corner

shaking his head speechless, disappointment mapped on his face. I stroked his head,

a wave of sympathy welling up in me. I whispered to him in a mysterious voice,

“Now, close your eyes and I will practice magic for you.” He scratched his head but

did it. I sneaked ten cents into his pocket and told him to check it. He pinched his

hand hard only to find he was not dreaming. After thanking me, he ran away as

swiftly as a rabbit.

I followed him secretly to see what he really spent the money on. He shouldered his

way to the area of bubble liquid and soon came out with a gift bag like a king. His

little sister just waited outside and eagerly pounced on it, eyes sparkling with

excitement, but the boy held the bag tightly, exclaiming, “It isn’t the time.”

Somehow the rest of the day went much better. That night, I came home with soap

bubbles too as Christmas presents. I blew it, chasing the flying bubbles with childlike

interest. For the first time in three years Christmas spirit crawled up my heart again.